On the Trauma & Abuse page, I have briefly mentioned about my first type of trauma, which is early childhood neglect. From the time when I was aged four to seven, while my parents were out of work, I was taken care by a caregiver, a babysitter or a nanny. I was just a little girl, who only blindly follows what the adult says and guides me, especially at such an age, I wasn’t able to communicate well, of my needs.
During that time, I was neglected in a way, where I was being fed of the same food every single day. I still remember the nauseous taste of it. There was a time, where I was being choked of the food that was served to me and I thought I was about to die. The other times, I was neglected of food when asked of it, despite I was in hunger. My caregiver did not care about me. I was at one point, hospitalised for five days in severe condition, due to being served of poisoned food by my caregiver.
In regards of other daily needs, I was neglected of my hygiene. When I was in need to go to the toilet, I was neglected of using it and eventually, I peed at myself inside my underwear and was a stink. The reason I was not allowed to go to the toilet, despite telling my caregiver of my need, because she was caught up with other things and had no time to take care of me.
There was a time that I was slapped of my face so hard, that my face was left with a red mark for many days straight. I also was being targeted with a wooden stick and was stolen of my belongings at home. There was another time I was being abandoned all alone in the public and I had no idea where I was. It was a life-threatening, because I thought I was about to die. Due to the abandonment, I was being attacked by a stranger. I didn’t know who he was, but he was holding my entire body up in the air by my waist, at the edge of the balustrade, two levels above ground. I thought I was about to fall to my death during that time and out of the blue, he dropped me. I was hit towards the ground and my face was bleeding. So, this is all I could remember about my early childhood neglect.