I feel like I have always been a vagabond my whole life, a wanderer of the earth without a true home. My life has been absolutely chaotic, because I have been frequently displaced of homes, schools and countries. In average, from the start of my life until now at the age of twenty-two, I have been moving home for thirteen times, changing schools for eleven times and resettling down of countries for five times. I always have new environments to adapt, including new people, new languages and traditions. It gives me panic attack. There was also a chronic issue with making relationships and friendships, where most of my life, I have been a friendless stranger of the world, because as long as I move from one suburb to another, there is a small disturbance. If I change from one school to another, there is a huge disturbance and the greatest disturbance was when I had to settle down to another country altogether.
Not many would understand about this fourth type of trauma I have gone through, because the moving of homes, changing of schools and resettlement of countries are not atypical, however, when the frequency of the change is very high, then it creates psychological trauma. I have been dissociating myself to the extent, by creating a second home through the form of hallucination. This is also part of the purpose of our safe hiding place, for the traumatised little ones to hide in.