I have been hospitalized in the psychiatric ward since February 2017, I again was hospitalized in July 2019, then two times in December 2020 and two times; 2021 January and May to July. I have been through the psychiatric intensive care unit thrice, one was December 15-24, 2020, another was January 3-12, 2021 and the last one was May 19-July 3, 2021. I had been to the hospital for the reason of suicide attempts and for complex PTSD mostly, I am thankful that I have survived through the grace of Jesus.
Being a Christian does not mean I would have a comfortable living without suffering, but instead, I have learned to face the storm as trials of my love for Christ, for it pleases Him. I prayed for a heart of pure gold, that no matter what happens to me, being very unwell, yet keep pursuing Him, instead of running away from Him, knowing that Jesus acknowledges my every tear, every pain, every trial, every storm, every disappointment, every hospitalization, every suicide attempt, is due to His great love for me.