We have had complete and partial memory lost of our trauma history for many years and experienced bipolar disorder.
I felt like there was something that happened to me, but I was just not aware of it, especially the time before I was hospitalized. I felt like there was a huge chunk of memories removed off from my mind and I had no idea about it. It lasted for years. I was a completely different person back then, under the complete effect of amnesia, where I was not able to recall any traumatic memories that have happened to me, only until the time it was under intensive triggers that I was able to recover those memories. Through the amnesia, I was able to make it to the day of graduation for my university degree. I know that I would not be able to finish it, if I was in such a traumatized state.