Complex Trauma

My Journey to Recovery

The Traumatized Mind

My first personal quote:

I cannot recognise my own substance, like others, developed fully as a human. The poly-fragmentation caused by the repeated and prolonged trauma has separated us into multiple parts.

My second personal quote:

I am too traumatised that I am mute from speaking, because it hurts to utter even a single word. I would stay silent for days, weeks, months to years indefinitely, or even forever.

My third personal quote:

It hurts to feel the slightest touch from someone on me, hearing the slightest of sound and having the slightest movement, because my feelings have been amplified as a consequence of trauma. My system is completely shut down and has become hyper-sensitive and hyper-vigilant in everything that I do.

My fourth personal quote:

When others look at me, I would avoid eye contacts and want to hide alone instead. I would look down completely, touching my chest, so others will not notice me. I need to cuddle myself and isolate myself completely from everyone else around me, holding my arm tightly with my other hand and legs bent. My watery eyes could well up with tears every single second continuously.

My fifth personal quote:

There is a little girl inside of me that is very traumatised, that she curls up all of her fingers and hands completely against herself.

My sixth personal quote:

The slightest of thing around me would trigger the memories of trauma, even just a chair. I would get a lot of flashbacks throughout the day and nightmares when I sleep.

My seventh personal quote:

The void within me can no longer be described in words, being extremely profound, indescribably vast and maximal, for it can only be expressed architecturally. It means to be expressed with architectural terms, such as height, depth, width and length, materiality, colours and intensity of lighting, sound and objects in space.